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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25349008">(Someone) Worth Waiting For</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hextrals/pseuds/hextrals'>hextrals</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, delinquent!hinata au, i love hinata so much i am so sorry about what i put him through, it kind of spirals, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:02:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,109</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25349008</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hextrals/pseuds/hextrals</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>this is a delinquent!hinata au that I thought up a few days ago and have been working on nonstop ever since. </p><p>In his third year, Hinata begins acting very hostile towards his friends. He finds anyway he can to isolate himself or lash out, resulting in many fights, some leaving him in worse condition than others.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou (implied), Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi (implied), Ukai Keishin/Takeda Ittetsu (implied)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>(Someone) Worth Waiting For</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this whole fic is just blow after blow of angst with a few softer moments in the few and far between. I didn't really intend for it to be so sad but that's just kind of the way it turned out.</p><p>tw for vague mentions of self harm and getting hit by a car</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"You fucking dumbass!" Kageyama said, grabbing Hinata by the collar. "What is up with you this year, huh?! You used to be so- so- ugh I don't know but now you're getting in fights!? What if you'd broken your hand, huh? What would we have done without our spiker!?" Kageyama exclaimed, clearly agitated. Yamaguchi stood up, trying to separate them, as captain it was his job to try and settle things down between his teammates. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kageyama, enough." Kageyama cut him a side eye and dropped the middle blocker, not even trying to do so lightly. "Kageyama you're lucky the underclassmen aren't here. What kind of impression would that have made on them, huh?" Yamaguchi said, a stern look on his face. "and you!" he said, turning to Hinata. "I agree with Kageyama. What has gotten into you lately?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata groaned, massaging his fingers. They still ached from the punch he'd landed on that smarmy assholes face. "It doesn't matter."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You idiot! You're affecting the whole team, what do you mean it 'doesn't matter'?! This is about more than you!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What, so you care about me all the sudden?!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hinata! Before you say something you'll regret." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata scoffed and looked at the ground. "Some guy was talking shit about Kags. Calling him the king. Saying he was no better than he used to be. I tried to be nice but then he-" Hinata shook his head. "Doesnt matter. He was being an asshole so I fuckin hit him alright."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi sighed, resting a hand on Hinata's shoulder. "What'd he say, Shou?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That Kageyama didn't deserve Karasuno. That he should've quit. That we'd be better without him... and it pissed me off so I fuckin hit him." Hinata mumbled, rubbing his thumb gently across his swollen lip. For an 18 year old at 5’6, he packed a solid punch. However, he could handle a punch just as well as he could throw one. He looked up and saw a surprised look on Kageyama’s face. “What’s that look for huh? Surprised I could hold my own? That I didn’t need you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you getting so fucking defensive? I just didn’t think you cared enough about me to do something like that. You’re too reckless, Hinata.” Kageyama said, groaning in frustration. Why wouldn’t Hinata just let him help, all he wanted to do was help-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t act like you care about me now, Kageyama.” Hinata spat, ignoring the taste of iron that filled his mouth. He must’ve been hit harder than he’d anticipated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell are you talking about?! You’re my best friend, Hinata. You piss me off sometimes but that happens with all best friends.” Kageyama said, grasping at straws to figure out the problem.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata scoffed and shook his head. “You really don’t get it, do you? And you call </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> a dumbass.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you talking about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t matter. I’m going home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Practice isn’t over yet, Hinata.” Yamaguchi said, reaching for Hinata’s wrist. Hinata snatched it away and scowled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll run laps tomorrow.” he said, grabbing his gym bag and storming out, passing Coach Ukai and Takeda on his way out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where’s little red going?” Ukai asked, a look of surprise on his face. “He never skips practice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We got into a fight- it’s nothing new.” Kageyama said, yanking his shoes on. He was clearly more frustrated than he was wanting to let on. Still, Ukai wanted to push his luck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Usually your fights don’t end in him leaving, what happened this time?” Kageyama clenched his fist, trying not to blow up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s acting like a brat. It’s nothing you need to worry about.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If it affects the team, then yes, Kageyama. It is something I need to worry about.” Ukai was being patient, he wanted to get to the bottom of this. If Hinata and Kageyama weren’t in the right place then the team would crumble. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He got into a fight with some asshole because he said something bad about me. I told him he was being stupid and reckless and he got mad at me.” Kageyama paused, running his hands down his face. “After that he left and now we’re here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukai sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “So much for a third year only practice. You’re all free to go, we’ll just put in a bit extra tomorrow.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We could always just practice without him.” Tuskishima said, a bored look on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi smacked his friend’s chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? You want me to lie?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow at his boyfriend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you to be nice for once!” Yamaguchi retorted, visibly frustrated. “You said you’d be nicer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine. Practice without Hinata would actually be very difficult. He’s one of the more talented players and he drives it and makes it more enjoyable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope he’s okay…” Takeda said, looking out the door. “I wonder where he ran off to..”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata didn’t know where he was. After he left the gym he’d just kept walking without really thinking of the direction he was heading. Despite the walk he couldn’t smother the rage in his chest. Why did Kageyama have to be so damn stupid- he smacked his fist into the nearest pole, letting his anger wash over him. No use in trying to ignore it now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck!” he jerked his hand, holding onto his wrist. That had been way more painful than he was ready for. He dropped his bag and pulled out his wraps. He always had them with him nowadays. Just in case. As he wrapped up his hand, he looked at his knuckles. They were cracked and bloody. As he watched the blood drip from his knuckles onto the ground, he figured he probably needed to clean them off, but for now he was just going to wrap them and move on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to find out where I am..” Hinata muttered, pulling out his phone. He was 30 minutes away from anything he knew well. He let out a breath before dialing up one of his best friends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey hey hey, my little disciple! What’re you up to?” he sighed, running his non injured hand through his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Bokuto. Can you come pick me up? I sent you my location.” Hinata said, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “I want to do something impulsive.” the line was quiet for a minute before Bokuto spoke again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’ll probably be about an hour before I can get to you. Why don’t you call Kageyama?” Hinata clenched his fist, wincing as his skin pulled against his bruised knuckles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to see him right now. Please, Bokuto.” Bokuto sighed quietly. What a mess this was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll pick you up and take you to whatever it is you want to do but… You have to let me bring Akaashi so he can try to talk you out of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata grumbled. Bokuto usually loved to join him on his random ventures. He was hoping this would be the same “no questions asked” type thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If Akaashi can’t come then I’m picking you up and taking you home, Shouyo.” Bokuto said, his voice unwavering.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine. But he won’t change my mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He just has to try. I’ll see you in an hour, Shou.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata sat down on a bench and leaned his head up towards the sky. The sun was starting to set, painting the sky soft shades of orange and pink. It was almost calming, watching the clouds drift slowly across the sky as it grew darker by the minute. He felt his phone vibrate beside him and he looked down at it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why can’t he take the hint.” Hinata groaned, picking up his phone to look at the text from Kageyama.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘where are you? are you okay?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata scoffed. What bullshit. He opened the conversation, trying to think of a suitable reply but ultimately decided against saying anything at all. He set his phone down again only for it to buzz a few seconds later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘seriously, hinata? leaving me on read? very mature.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I’m worried about you.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘that’s a load of shit and we both know it. what, did yamaguchi ask you to check on me?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘why are you acting like such an asshole? what did i do to make you hate me so much all the sudden?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata closed his phone, threw it in his bag, and then smacked the side of his fist against the bench. The action was followed quickly by regret as pain flared through his hand, reminding him of the injury he had sustained. He found himself rubbing at his hands the way he used to see Akaashi do. He missed those days. Everything seemed so simple back then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before he knew it he heard a car pull up in front of him. He looked up to see a very concerned Bokuto looking at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where’re we heading?” he asked, watching as Hinata climbed into the car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hinata what happened to your hand?” Akaashi interjected before Hinata could answer the first question. He paused for a second, debating which question to answer first.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto- you know the piercing place a few miles from Karasuno? That’s where we’re going. Akaashi- I got into a fight.” his seniors turned to look at him, wearing matching expressions of concern.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hinata what? Since when are you fighting? Why?” Bokuto said, his eyebrows furrowed. That was nothing like the Hinata Shouyo he knew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because the asshole deserved it that’s why.” Hinata mumbled, ignoring the ache in his hand. He flexed it a few times, trying to be discreet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That has to hurt, Shouyo. It looks worse than the result of just a fight.” Akaashi said, looking out the window to wear Hinata had been. “The pole with blood on it wouldn’t happen to be your fault, would it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata didn’t respond. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take your silence as a yes. You’re lucky I don’t call Iwaizumi and have him look at it over the phone. What if you’d broken your hand? Aren’t you the only reliable spiker for Karasuno right now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve heard it all from Kageyama alright! Just drive, please.” Bokuto and Akaashi shared a glance before turning to face the road.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what exactly are you thinking about getting pierced?” Bokuto asked, looking at his friend in the rearview.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I already have my ears pierced and I don’t want something that would get me in too much trouble with school so I figure I’ll get my tongue pierced.” Hinata said nonchalantly, ignoring the texts he was receiving from his teammates. “Piercings are cathartic. Yeah they hurt but overall they help sooth my anger. I think it’s an adrenaline thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keiji-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honestly Koutarou I don’t really see any issue with it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?! I brought you so you could talk him out of whatever impulsive thing he wanted to do-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand that, Kou, but in this instance I think it’ll actually be more helpful than harmful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata couldn’t help the triumphant grin on his face at Akaashi’s words. He never would have expected him to be on his side. In no time they were inside the shop and Hinata was in the chair, squeezing Bokuto’s hand for dear life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, I’ll push the needle through on the count of three. One, two-” the piercer pushed the needle through his tongue a count early and Hinata felt like he would pass out. “Alright, this might be a little uncomfortable.” Hinata winced as the man replaced the needle with a stud. “Alright, check it out kid.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata stuck his tongue out at the mirror the man had handed him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It looks nice, Shouyo.” Akaashi said, a soft smile on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” Hinata said, his face contorting when he heard the lisp. The piercer laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah that’s gonna happen. Your tongue is gonna be really swollen for about a week. After that it’ll go down a bit but the swelling probably won’t go away fully for a month or so.” He handed Hinata a piece of paper. “This is a guide on cleaning your piercing. Always wash it after you eat and before you go to bed. And no kissing til it fully heals.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata nodded, trying to adjust to the feeling of the stud in his mouth. Bokuto led him out, laughing as they went.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for taking him without an appointment.” Akaashi said, handing the man a cash tip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s been in here before, sweet kid.” he replied, putting the money in his pocket. “I hope he figures out whatever it is that’s bugging him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I do too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After Bokuto dropped him off at his house, Hinata finally checked his phone again. 27 texts, 3 missed calls, and a voicemail. Great. He slid his phone open and looked at his messages. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tobio :)- </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>hinata please don’t do this. Hinata? Hinata you’re scaring me, please respond. I miss my best friend, shou. What did i do?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Freckles-</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> Hinata, where are you? Kageyama is freaking out and frankly so am I. Are you okay? Hinata come on. Hinata? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saltyshima-</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> shorty what’s the deal. You’ve got the whole team freaking out. Even Coach is panicking right now. You need to answer your phone, dude. I’m worried about you. ...hinata?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Coach!!- </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>little red where did you go? I’m really worried about you. Pick up your damn phone kid. You’re gonna make me go gray prematurely kid, cmon. You’re scaring everyone with this silence red. What’s going on?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Takeda Sensei-</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> hinata? I know kageyama said you got into a fight but he didn’t say what it was over. I understand if you don’t want to talk right now, but we’re all here for you when you do. You’re important to all of us, Hinata. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Suga !-</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> hey shou! It’s been a bit, how are you?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata sighed and fell back onto his bed. He didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. Or in general. Nonetheless he opened his call log, deciding to listen to the voicemail.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, Hinata. I don’t know what I did to make you hate me so much, but I’m sorry. I just wish you would talk to me, damnit! I have no idea where you are right now and I’m worried about you. Sometimes it’s like you forget that you were my first friend and are the person I trust the most out of everyone I know. Why are you acting so cold nowadays? I hate feeling like I can’t talk to you anymore. Please talk to me again. I just- I want to fix whatever it is that I fucked up in the first place. I miss you… I don’t know if you’ll even listen to this but if you do, Shou please call me back. I need to hear your voice. I need to know you’re okay… I guess that’s it. Call me back, I l-” there was a sigh through the receiver, “I’m really worried about you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata let out a soft breath, ignoring the hot tears he felt slipping down his cheeks. Why did all of this have to be so complicated. Why did he have to love Kageyama Tobio? Of course he knew the answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t do this tonight. I can’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kageyama stared at the ceiling of Tsukishima’s room. This had become a regular occurance between them. Comfortable silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tsukishima, what am I supposed to do. Hinata is just so stubborn and stupid and- ridiculous! I don’t understand why he won’t just talk to me. We used to be best friends and I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are so stupid.” Tsukki said, not looking away from his screen. He was fighting a horde on the minecraft server he shared with Kageyama. Kageyama whacked his back with a pillow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be a douchebag! I came to you for help.” he complained, slinging his arm over his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tobio, no offense, but you are so blind you would miss the solution to your problem if it was directly in front of you. Which it is.” Kageyama sat up, his eyebrows knit together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re what’s directly in front of me, Tsukki.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not literally- you-” Tsukishima pinched the bridge of his nose. “You are a hopeless idiot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just want Hinata to talk to me again. I don’t know what I did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your idiocy is part of the problem.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you so mean to me?” Kageyama whined, flopping back onto his friend’s bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I care about you. The point is- you aren’t the problem. Not entirely anyway. I think Hinata is going through something with himself and he’s pushing away the people he cares about the most, being you.” it was silent for a while before Kageyama eventually found his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But what am I supposed to do? It’s been three weeks and he still won’t even look at me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t try to force it out of him, that’ll probably just widen the gap. I’d say still text him every now and then to check up. Like “how are you?” or “I hope you’re well” et cetera. He probably won’t respond but it’ll show him you’re still there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I miss him so much, Tsukki. I just want him by my side again.” Tsukki sighed and shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You really are oblivious, aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukai took a long drag from his cigarette. It’d been a month and a half since Hinata had stormed out of that practice and nothing between the team had been the same since. The practices were tense and the first and second years were becoming concerned for their chances at nationals. He was pulled out of his thoughts by his phone ringing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keishin, I don’t know what to do anymore. We’re not getting anywhere, no one is improving with the third years in disarray like this-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take, slow down. I know. I’ve been thinking about it too and I have an idea but I have no idea if it’s going to work.” Ukai says, letting out a sharp breath. He could only hope.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you thinking?” Takeda asked tentatively. Ukai could sense his nerves through the phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think we need to call Daichi and Sugawara.” Ukai said, snuffing his cigarette. “They’ll probably yield better results than we could no matter how hard we tried.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right. I’ll call Daichi. Can you get in contact with Suga?” Takeda asks, nervously fiddling with his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You got it babe. I love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, I’ll see you tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See you tonight.” Ukai hung up the phone, a small smile on his face. He hadn’t talked to Suga in some time but he figured it wouldn’t be too bad. He pulled up his contact and hit the call button. One ring. Two rings. Three rings-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Coach Ukai! It’s been a while. What do you need?” Suga said, the smile evident in his voice. Ukai took a deep breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Suga I need your help. The third years- Hinata and Kageyama specifically- they're having a lot of problems. Takeda and I can’t figure out how to help them because they won’t talk to us and the team is suffering right now and we’re all worried about Hinata-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can be there in a few days.” Suga interrupted. Ukai had never heard him sound like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you so much Sugawara.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever I can do to help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukai ended the call and let out a soft breath. This had been a really difficult month and a half for him and the team. There was no communication between anyone and it had become more and more impossible for them to work together cohesively. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God I hope this works…” he said quietly, resting his head on his desk. “I need this to work.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As promised, Suga arrived a few days after Ukai’s call. He apologized on Daichi’s behalf, he had a last minute conflict. Ukai led him into the gym quietly so he could observe the chaos for himself. Kageyama and Hinata were so out of sync it was scary. For the first time since their first day of club, they couldn’t read each other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hinata, what was that? I didn’t have time to set the ball.” Kageyama said calmly, shoving down his frustration. Silence followed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hinata hasn’t spoken since all of this started. It’s been nearly two months, I think Kageyama is close to a breakdown.” Ukai whispered, leaning so only Suga could hear him. “Everyone is going a little stir crazy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hinata hasn’t said a word?” Suga said, shock written across his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He hasn’t even responded to texts. From anyone. Not even Yamaguchi or Yachi… we’re all so worried about him but he won’t let anyone in.” Ukai sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I just don’t know what to do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me talk to Hinata alone.” Suga said, a serious look on his face. Ukai looked at him, uncertain. “Just trust me.” Suga reassured him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright…” Ukai muttered. “Little red! You’ve got a visitor!” he called, beckoning the boy over. Hinata looked over and his eyes lit up. He jogged over and Suga wrapped him in a bear hug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cmon Shouyo, let’s go outside for a minute.” Suga said softly, a gentle smile on his face. Hinata nodded and followed Suga to the benches. Hinata sat criss-crossed in front of Suga, beaming at his old friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are you, Shou? It’s been a bit.” Suga started, tilting his head slightly. Hinata gave him a thumbs up. “Not even gonna speak to me, Shou?” Hinata paused and then put up a finger. He ran back into the gym and grabbed his phone then came back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I’ve been good! What about you?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suga sighed. “Honestly I’ve not been too great. School is harder than I had expected and it’s stressing me out.” he replied, twisting the ring on his left hand. “Now will you tell me the truth..?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata didn’t respond, he just stared at him. Suga sighed, he knew this wasn’t going to be easy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay, Hinata? Really?” he asked. “Because… you look like yourself but- you’re somebody else. What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I’ve just been feeling a lot of shit recently.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suga nodded, squeezing the red head’s shoulder. “Have you tried talking to someone about it?” Hinata cut him a look. “Right, of course not. That’s why I’m here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata’s eyebrows furrowed, clearly confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, right. Ukai was really worried about you, but he didn’t think you wanted to talk to him- or that you were uncomfortable talking to him? So he called me and asked if I would come and check up on you- see if I’d be able to weasel something out of you.” Suga said, gentle poking his friend’s chest. “I’m not going to force anything out of you but I think you need to get something off your chest and I want you to know that I’m here to listen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata sighed, shaking his head. Suga winced.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was that too honest?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Nonono it’s- i just- i don’t know it’s not easy to think of the words.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take all the time you need.” Suga said, tapping his fingers on his leg. “Can I ask why you stopped talking?” Hinata stuck out his tongue, revealing the piercing he had gotten over a month ago. Suga’s eyes widened. “Well that’s not what I expected. Was it a healing thing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘At first.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At first?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘It just became easier not to talk at all. I didn’t see the point.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suga nodded, contemplating what to say next. “Why… why have you been so harsh towards Kageyama? Did something happen?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘He’s everything I’m not. I just- I got so tired of always being compared to him and Tsukishima. I wanted to prove that I was just as strong as them and that I didn’t have to rely on them to be strong.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...is that when the fights started?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata looked at his hands. He didn’t have to do anything for Suga to know the answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you look at me, Shouyo?” Suga asked softly. Hinata looks up, his eyes brimming with tears. “What else is bothering you? I know it can’t just be Kageyama and Tsukishima.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I got tired of always feeling like I had to be happy. People acted like it was a crime when I wasn’t smiling so I just started putting up a fake front to appease the people around me. I completely neglected every other emotion I had for the sake of my peers and now all I feel all the time is anger. At Kageyama. At coach. At myself. All I feel is rage and it swallows everything I do- I’m drowning in it, Suga. The only way I could get rid of it was the fighting. I wanted to be known as more than just ‘Kageyama’s decoy’. I wanted to be Hinata Shouyo, the ace of Karasuno. I was tired of just being seen as a baby, I wanted a name for myself, even if it meant getting into more trouble than it was worth.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Hinata…” Suga said, a soft look on his face. “You are so much more than a decoy. You always have been. You know that, don’t you?” Hinata shrugged, looking back down. It wasn’t always that easy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t smile like you used to. I don’t think I’ve seen you smile since I’ve gotten here… but knowing now that you weren’t even happy-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Suga you couldn’t have known.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was my job to know, Shouyo. I let you down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Never. Never once did you let me down Sugawara Koushi. I don’t want to hear you say that ever again.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Hinata flexed his right hand against his thigh. It had never really stopped aching after his incident. The motion caused his shorts to rise, revealing small white lines that caught Suga’s eyes immediately. He couldn’t stop the small gasp that left his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take Hinata long to realize what had happened. He knew the damage was done.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hinata-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, Suga.” Hinata interrupted, pulling his shorts back down. “It’s just another escape-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hinata, this isn’t something you brush over. It’s not healthy- there’s so many options aside from-” Suga sighed. He knew a lecture wouldn’t help. For once in his life, Suga was at a loss for words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...I don’t know what to do, Suga.” Hinata said quietly, still trying to get his voice back. After almost two months of no use it was rough and scratchy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My first thought was to suggest alternatives.. But I don’t really know-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are they?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Some people suggest painting or drawing on yourself in place. Other’s use the butterfly project.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The what?” Hinata asked, raising an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s- here hold on.” he reached into his bag and pulled out a marker. “So what it is is that you’ll draw a butterfly. Anywhere where you can see it. Some people write names with them. And essentially as long as you have a butterfly you’re not supposed to do anything until it fades or else the butterfly dies.” he explained as he drew a butterfly on the palm of Hinata’s hand and wrote his name underneath it. “Does that make sense?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata nodded, running his thumb over the small butterfly. “I can’t make promises-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. All that I care about is that you try, okay?” Suga said, giving Hinata a soft smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good.” Suga took Hinata’s face in his hands and gave him a small kiss on his forehead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sugaaaaa.” Hinata groaned, a smile wide on his face. “I’ve missed you too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> “I love you, Shou, but come on, would it kill you to shoot me a text every now and then?” Hinata’s face turned bright red.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- well you- you’re busy with university and I-” Suga’s face went serious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> be too busy for you, Shouyo. If you need me, you pick up that phone. Understood?” Hinata nodded quickly before Suga pulled him into a hug, something Hinata hadn’t realized just how much he needed. “But you should really talk to Kageyama.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck Kageyama.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hinata!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to get back to practice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell me you’ll at least talk to Ukai-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata mocked like he was zipping his lips and tossing the key. He wasn’t ready yet. As Suga watched his retreating figure he couldn’t help but feel concerned- but there were some things he didn’t have a place in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Hinata walked into the gym, the team was in the middle of cleaning up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Little red! Did you and Sugawara have a productive talk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it was good-” Hinata’s eyes widened and everyone in the gym froze. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh so you talk now?” Kageyama said, trying to muffle his anger. “After a month and a half of silence on every front, one conversation with Suga and suddenly you have a voice again?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kageyama-” Yamaguchi said, putting his hand in front of Kageyama’s chest. “Don’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Yamaguchi. Let him run his mouth.” Hinata said, trying not to think of all the emotions in his chest. “Tell me how you really feel, Kageyama.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How I feel?” Kageyama scoffed. “I feel angry. I feel hurt. You ice me out for weeks. You barely even look at me and then suddenly Sugawara shows up and you’re talking again? I don’t fucking understand you, Hinata.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you ever consider that maybe I just didn’t fucking want to talk to you?” Hinata spat. It was a lie of course, but he couldn’t just tell Kageyama that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But why?! What did I do that was so atrocious that you decided you just didn’t want to be my friend anymore?” Kageyama said, his voice cracking. Tsukishima looked up at the sound of Kageyama’s voice. He recognized that pain behind it. “You said you got into a fight because someone was talking shit about me but then you turn around and treat me like I’m nothing. I just want a reason, Shouyo!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ukai and Takeda hurried the underclassmen out. This wasn’t something any of them needed to see. As he looked over his shoulder, Ukai couldn’t help but have a heavy heart. This was only going to end one of two ways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why is everything about you, Kageyama? It’s always about you. Ever since middle school everything has been about you! Don’t you get tired of it?” Hinata said, his voice steely. He regretted the words as they left his mouth. He could see that scared boy who’s team abandoned him. The boy that found solace in someone that loved volleyball the way he did. Yet for some reason he couldn’t stop the venom that was spewing from his lips. “All you do is think about what people think of you. You care so much about what I think about you that you aren’t even minding yourself. Get a grip, king. We won’t be in high school forever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hinata, that’s enough-” Yamaguchi said, trying to separate the two.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck is your problem? You get into a few fights and a couple piercings and you suddenly think you’re all that? You’re still that reckless wannabe that I faced off with in middle school. You act like you’re so mature now but this whole thing has been more childish than anything I’ve seen. You act like just because you let yourself get roughed up you’re some big tough guy, but overall you’re exactly the same. You’re a scared, spineless coward. And you always will be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kageyama!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, Tsukishima.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you, Tobio.” Hinata said, fighting back the tears. “Just- fuck you.” Hinata grabbed his bag and bolted out of the gym. He looked at the butterfly on his palm- all he wanted to do was scrub it off but he wouldn’t. He couldn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he watched Hinata’s shape fade, all the color drained from Kageyama’s face. What had he done? He fell to his knees, unable to bear the weight of his emotions. Hot tears spilled from his eyes onto the gym floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How- why did I- wh- what’s wrong with me?” he choked out. Tsukishima wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He wanted to cuss at him but he knew that for now, Kageyama needed a comfort source.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, Kageyama. You didn’t mean it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t! I didn’t mean it I didn’t-” Kageyama felt like the walls were crashing down around him. “He’ll never forgive me now what am I supposed to do? Tsukishima I can’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kageyama you need to breathe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s my- I- what am I going to do without him I- I didn’t mean it, Tsukki-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kageyama! We can work through that later. For now I need you to breathe.” Tsukishima said, a concerned look on his face. He'd never seen Kageyama this vulnerable and frankly- it scared him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi watched as Tsukishima talked to Kageyama in a hushed tone. He couldn’t help the pang of jealousy in his chest, seeing how kind and caring Tsukki was being towards him. He had never been an outwardly affectionate person, especially not with Kageyama. So what had changed?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima helped Kageyama stand up. He was still very shaken but he wasn’t crying anymore. Yamaguchi just stood blankly as he escorted Kageyama out of the gym. When they got to the door Tsukishima looked at him, his eyes apologetic, before continuing into the dark. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What just happened…?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi snapped out of his trance, turning to look at Yachi. She looked about just as confused as he felt. He shook his head and sighed, looking back toward the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea.” he said. He hadn’t seen those two get so strung up in years- it made him really concerned. He hadn’t realized he was biting his nails until Yachi was in front of him, pulling his hand away from his mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve gotta stop that, Yamaguchi.” She said, a stern look on her face. Yamaguchi nodded, sighing as she let his hand drop. He’d had a habit of biting his nails when he was nervous for years. Tsukki had helped him curb it for the most part but occasionally he fell into muscle memory.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Old habits die hard.” he paused, his mind wandering back to his teammates. He was so worried about them and he hated that he didn’t know what to do. If Daichi or Ennoshita were here-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey, stop that. I can hear you over thinking from here.” Yachi said, grabbing his hand and holding it this time. “I know you’re worried about everyone but I’m sure it’s going to be fine. We just need to trust that they’ll talk to each other- and soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course. Thanks Yachi.” he said, a soft smile on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” she squeezed his hand, “what else are friends for.” she paused, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Have you talked to Tsukishima yet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We are so not doing this right now.” he laughed, spinning her around. “There’s way too much happening right now- plus you saw the way he was looking at Kageyama just now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh so we can’t talk about your feelings but we can dance to silence?” Yachi shot back, a wide grin on her face. “And I’m sure you’re just overanalyzing it, Tadashi. Tsukishima and Kageyama have gotten close recently, sure but I really don’t think there’s anything behind it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe not… I’ve just never seen Kei like that, you know?” he said as they waltzed around the gym. “He never even did that kind of thing for me, but… you’re probably right. It’s nothing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So does that mean you’re gonna tell him?” she asked, batting her eyes at him innocently. He shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, it’s not the right time.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been saying that for three years now.” Yachi said, stopping their dance. “You have to tell him eventually, Tadashi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. Just- after this all blows over. Then we’ll see.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m holding you to that.” she said, pouting at him. Yamaguchi couldn’t help but smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kageyama stared at his ceiling, his eyes still aching from the tears he had shed. Why had he been so cruel? He grabbed his phone to check his phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it already 11:50?” he said quietly, letting his eyes shut for a few seconds. “I- I need to text Hinata, but what can I say?” he stared silently at his phone for a few minutes. This was harder  than he had thought it would be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘hey hinata.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘hit some of my tosses…?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kageyama tossed his phone away. He wasn’t expecting an answer. What he’d said was so out of pocket- His train of thought was derailed by his phone buzzing beside him. He picked it up and his eyes widened. What?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘meet you at the gym in 20.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt his heart flutter. They could talk. He could apologize. They would be okay. They would be okay. He rolled out of bed and put on his sneakers and jacket. He’d have to walk to avoid being caught. His sister wouldn’t really care, he knew that, but he’d rather not cause a scene in the middle of the night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The walk from Kageyama’s house to the gym was a short one, only taking him about five minutes. Pulling the key out of his pocket he found himself thankful he was in charge of it and not Yamaguchi. He flipped on one of the light switches, bathing the gym in a soft yellow glow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Might as well go ahead and do some warm ups.” he muttered, grabbing one of the volleyballs from the closet. As he set to himself, he found that he was all too aware of the amount of time that was passing. 12:10 came and went. Then 12:20. By the time 12:30 came around Kageyama had had enough. He should’ve known better than to think Hinata would want to see him, no matter what the offer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kageyama sighed, returning the ball to its place in the cart. How stupid could he be? He took one more look to the gym before turning off the light and locking up. He couldn’t help but drag his feet as he made his way home. There was no way he could come back from this. Suddenly he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Kageyama, where are you?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Hinata’s in the hospital.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘There’s been an accident.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata was laying in bed with his eyes closed, completely unable to sleep. He couldn’t rip his thoughts away from the fight he had with Kageyama. His words had been meant to sting, and yet he hadn’t been expecting the same in return. His thoughts were so loud he almost missed his phone vibrating on his night stand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Kageyama’.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He thought, reaching for his phone. Surprisingly, despite everything, he was the only person Hinata wanted to talk to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘hey hinata.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘hit some of my tosses…?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata sighed. They needed to talk anyway, maybe being in a setting where they’re both comfortable would make it easier. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘meet you at the gym in 20.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata slid his phone into his pocket and stood up. He didn’t know what he was going to say to Kageyama but it didn’t matter, he had a fifteen minute walk to figure it out. As he gently shut his front door, he let out a soft breath. The air was warmer than he’d expected considering the time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The street lights casted a dim light on the ground as he walked. It reminded him of all the late night walks the past few years he and Kageyama had had on their way home from practice. He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he reminisced on all the good times they had shared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had been Kageyama’s first true friend. Not even just at Karasuno, but in general. The first person to swear he’d never leave. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Heh. Look how that turned out.” he muttered, shaking his head. Over time they had grown closer, and the closer they got, the more Hinata’s heart had ached. The more time they spent together the deeper he fell, until eventually it swallowed him whole. He’d never planned to fall in love with his best friend, yet here he was. Stuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walked into the street mindlessly, so caught up in his own head he didn’t notice the lights that were coming closer by the second. He didn’t hear the honking of the horn, the screeching of tires. When time caught up to him, he was laying in the middle of the street unable to breathe. His right leg felt like it was on fire and his chest was aching.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Kid? I didn't even see you- Kid are you okay? Fuck I have to- oh my god-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What? Who was talking to him? What was he saying? Why couldn't he speak?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hello, 119? I just- this kid he came out of nowhere- he's still breathing but i-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata could barely hear what was happening. Had he been hit? How? No one was ever out this late- How much time had passed?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Kid can you… you have to stay with me-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next thing he knew he was being picked up. Where was he again?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“How long has he been unconscious?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I- I don’t know. A few minutes maybe?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was he unconscious? Since when?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’ve got to get him to the hospital. Kid? My name is Kaito Nakamura, can you hear me?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata nodded, struggling to open his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What’s your name?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shouyo. Hinata.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay Hinata, do you know what the date is?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It uh- it’s-” Hinata’s eyes rolled back into his head. Everything went dark and Hinata felt a chill run down his spine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Damnit, he’s flatlining!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata felt his stomach drop. He was looking at himself, laying in a gurney. The sound of the heart monitor holding one note instead of a rhythmic beat made him feel sick. Was he dying? Is this what dying felt like? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” he exclaimed. “No I can’t die- there’s- I have so much left to do-” he’s cries fell on deaf ears. He tried to grab the EMT but his hands passed through him. “Put me back! Please you have to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata gasped and his eyes shot open. He was alive. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He was alive.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You scared us for a minute there, kid. We’re not going to let anything happen to you, alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata nodded to the best of his ability, his eyes slipping shut.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey no you gotta keep your eyes open for me kid. You have a concussion, you need to stay conscious. How can we keep you talking? You got a girlfriend?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nuh-uh. I got a Kageyama tho.” he said, staring at the roof of the ambulance. “He’s my best friend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? How long have you known him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We met our last year of middle school in a volleyball tournament. He was really mean. Kinda scary too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How’d you two become friends then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We go to the same high school. He’s my setter. I’m nothing without him.” Why was he saying this? He didn’t need to share this information with anyone. “He means everything to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where is he right now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s waiting for me at-” Oh my god. He was supposed to be at the gym with Kageyama right now. Why wasn’t he there?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Waiting for you where?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We- we got into a fight. Big big fight. I was on my way to him-” He tried to sit up but a gentle hand pushed him back down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re pulling up to the hospital now. You’ve got a lot of damage, kid. Don’t try to move.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata became acutely aware of just how much pain he was in. His chest felt like it was collapsing and his leg was on fire. Everything around him was moving so slowly, he couldn’t focus on any one thing. He almost passed out again but then he heard a distorted voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Hey, no. Kid come on, you gotta stay with me. Who can I call for you? Your emergency contact?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“S-Sugawara Koushi.” He was struggling to keep his eyes open.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Suzuki, did you hear that? Sugawara Koushi! Alright kid, can you help us find him?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Miyagi prefecture. Karasuno. He’s an.. Elementary…. Teacher….” Hinata’s words had become drawn out and slurred.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘That’s good, Hinata. Really good. You can win this fight.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Nakamura, we have to get him to surgery. If he doesn’t stop moving one of his ribs will puncture his lung-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What? What’d she say? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Take care of him, Iwasaki. He’s got someone waiting for him.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘They always do, Naka.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of his phone ringing roused Suga from his slumber. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What time is it?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this Sugawara Koushi?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, who's this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi sir, I’m sorry to be calling you so late. My name is Kitagawa Aiko from Miyagi General Hospital. We have a boy here who listed you as an emergency contact.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suga felt his stomach fall to his feet. This couldn’t be happening.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He said his name was Hinata Shouyo. He was hit by a car around 12:05 this morning. He’s currently in surgery but it isn’t looking good for him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suga couldn’t breathe. What had he been doing out so late? Who hadn’t been paying attention? What if he-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sir?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here, sorry. What do I need to do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’d appreciate it if you’d come up to the hospital. He’ll need a familiar face if he wakes up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If he wakes up. If he wakes up.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be there soon. Thank you for calling me.” Once he heard the receiver click, he let out a shaky breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hinata, what have you gotten into?” he whispered, opening his message app. He had to text Kageyama. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Kageyama, where are you?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Hinata’s in the hospital.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘There’s been an accident.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suga got out of bed and put on his slippers. 12:37am. Why had Hinata been out so late? What crazy idea had told him to go walking in the dark so late at night? He shook his head. That didn’t matter now. What mattered was getting to the hospital, getting to Hinata. As he grabbed his keys he heard a rustle from his bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Koushi? What time is it?” Daichi asked, letting out a small yawn. Suga smiled softly and then kissed Daichi’s forehead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it baby. Go back to sleep.” he whispered. He didn’t need to rope Daichi into this too- his fiance was already under so much stress as it were. This would be too much for him to handle. As he made his way out the door he paused, turning to look at his life-long best friend. “I love you, Dai.” He was met with the sound of gentle snoring. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought,</span>
  <em>
    <span> at least one of us is sleeping tonight. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The drive to the hospital felt impossibly long. He never realized just how long certain red lights could last. By the time he arrived it was almost 1am. As he walked toward the front desk, he gently slapped his face in an attempt to wake himself up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, welcome to Miyagi General, how can I help you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, my name is Sugawara Koushi, I’m here to see Hinata Shouyo?” he said, trying to stifle his nerves. The nurse’s eyes widened and she stood up from her chair, asking a coworker to cover for her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sugawara, I’m Kitagwa. I’m the one who called you earlier.” Suga nodded, looking at her expectantly as she led him down the hall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They just finished his surgery. There were some complications and he ended up coding but the doctors on staff were able to resuscitate him. He’s stable now, but he’s been put on some serious pain medication for the time being.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What kind of complications?” Suga asked, his voice trembling. Of all people, why did this have to happen to Hinata?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When he was struck by the car, it broke three of his ribs and his right leg. One of his ribs ended up pressing against his lung and during transit he was jostled causing his rib to ultimately end up puncturing it. I’m not too sure about the rest of the details, I’m only working the desk.” she said apologetically, stopping in front of a room with the name “Hinata” written on a card.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...but he’s gonna be okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s expected to make a full recovery accompanied with some physical therapy for his leg.” Kita responded. “He’s sleeping now, but you can go in if you want.” Suga shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll wait, there’s someone on his way that I’m gonna need to talk to.” Kitagawa nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There are plenty of chairs here in the hall and in the waiting room, sit wherever you want.” she said with a smile before returning to the desk. Suga sat down across from Hinata’s room and rested his head against the wall. His mind wandered to Kageyama. Was he actually going to come? He hadn’t texted Suga back… maybe he’d been asleep. He thought about calling him but-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me, my name is Kageyama Tobio. I’m looking for a Hinata Shouyo? Is he here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sound of Kageyama’s panicked voice filled Suga’s ears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tobio, down here.” he called, waving the younger boy over. As he drew closer, Sugawara became increasingly aware of just how broken he looked. His eyes were red as though he’d been crying and his hair was all over the place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Suga is he okay? Is he going to be okay? What happened? You were so vague I-” Kageyama’s thoughts were spilling out into a jumbled mess, his mind moving faster than his mouth. Suga placed his hand on Kageyama’s shoulder and squeezed it gently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hinata is fine. He’s got some breaks and bruises but he’s gonna be fine.” Kageyama nodded quickly, taking a few deep breaths. “He was hit by a car, Kageyama. Why was he out so late? Do you have any idea?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kageyama felt his heart drop through the floor. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This was his fault.</span>
  </em>
  <span> If he hadn’t asked Hinata to hit his tosses he never would’ve been out and if he hadn’t been out then he never would’ve been hit by that car and he wouldn’t be here. This was all Kageyama’s fault-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah, hey, Tobio, you alright there?” Suga asked, steadying his friend. Kageyama felt like he couldn’t breathe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My fault.” he choked out. “Asked him to hit my tosses. Needed to apologize, figured it was the easiest way to get him to see me and I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kageyama Tobio, this is not your fault. The driver is the only one to blame.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But, if I hadn’t-” Suga shushed him once again, a stern look on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There is no way you or anyone could have predicted something like this happening, Kags. It was a freak accident. What matters is that Hinata is okay. Right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kageyama nodded, still not fully convinced. He anxiously ran a hand through his hair and sat down, eyes trained on the door to Hinata’s room. They sat together in silence for a few minutes, both still processing the events of the night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Suga?” Kageyama said quietly, his eyes trained on the ground. “If he had died- the- the last thing I would have said to him was that he was a coward. He would’ve died thinking that-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kageyama,” Suga interrupted, placing his hand on Kageyama’s knee, “you need to stop thinking like that, okay? Hinata didn’t die. He’s going to be okay. Focus on that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, right.” he mumbled, scuffing his shoe on the floor. The silence that followed was deafening, drowning Kageyama in the sound of his heartbeat. Was this what it felt like to be so invested in the wellbeing of someone else? To hurt when they were hurt? To cry when they cried?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’ll probably wake up soon… why don’t you go in.” Suga suggested, looking over at his friend. “That way he’ll have a familiar face to wake up to.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kageyama shook his head. No, he couldn’t face him. Not after everything he said- he had been so cruel. Would Hinata even want to see him? Even after everything? There was no way. They would just end up fighting again and Hinata didn’t need that stress. He needed to be relaxed to recover properly and he knew that him being there wasn’t necessary.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tobio I know you’re scared, but I really think it would be better for him to wake up and see you than me. You’re his best friend. You mean more to him than anyone else he knows.” Suga said, trying to be encouraging. “Think about how much it would mean to him if you were there, waiting for him. Isn't he someone worth waiting for?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kageyama felt his face flush. The thought that Hinata would be happy to see him sent his heart racing. However, he still wasn’t sure if it was the best idea. What if Hinata was still mad at him and cast him out immediately? What if he just refused to speak at all? Then what would Kageyama do?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can hear those gears turning in your head, Kageyama. Think of it like this: if you were in his position, injured in a hospital bed, who would be the first person </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted to see?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What a silly question.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The answer was obviously Hinata. There was no real reason he should want to see anyone else. When the realization hit, Kageyama’s eyes widened. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh. That was the point.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you gonna go in?” Suga questioned, his expressions soft. He’d been pushing it but if Kageyama really didn’t want to he wasn’t going to force him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Kageyama’s voice was soft as he stood up. He reached for the handle but as he twisted the nob, he froze. Could he really do this?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he entered the room his heart sank. He had never seen Hinata look so... frail. He walked over to the side of his friend's bed and sat down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You can't die on me, Shouyo. You're not allowed." He said softly, holding Hinata's hand in his own. Hinata didn't respond, he was too busy sleeping.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kageyama sighed and looked towards the window. He still blamed himself for what had happened. Suga had sworn it wasn't his fault and yet- a rustle in the bed beside him caused him to jump.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Tobio...?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kageyama's eyes snapped back to Hinata's, his heart soaring in his chest.</span>
  <em>
    <span> He's alive. He's awake.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You're here." Hinata said, a soft smile on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm here." Kageyama replied, biting back tears as he squeezed Hinata's hand. "I'm here."</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ambiguous endings for the win :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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